


Dream and Reality

by phoenixquest



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-28
Updated: 2015-01-28
Packaged: 2018-03-09 09:44:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3245021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixquest/pseuds/phoenixquest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“If you want him, he’s yours,” Hawke said, voice utterly nonchalant as he looked at Danarius.</p>
<p>But Hawke would never do that. Would he? </p>
<p>(Happy fluff ending, I promise.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dream and Reality

“This is your new master, then?” Danarius chuckled. “The Champion of Kirkwall. How lovely.” Fenris was fully gathering himself for a fight, but the man’s words cut into his concentration. Hawke was _not_ Fenris’ master!

“If you want him, he’s yours,” Hawke said, voice utterly nonchalant as he looked at Danarius.

“What?” Fenris yelped, shock written all over him as his large eyes turned to Hawke, hardly able to believe his ears.

“I thought I was the only one thinking that,” Anders said harshly. Little though they got along, Fenris couldn’t stop hurt blossoming in his chest at the thought the mage would turn him back into a slave.

“You’re kidding, right?” Varric teased Anders, saving his own glare for Fenris. The elf couldn’t believe what was happening. Surely the dwarf…of all of them, the kindhearted dwarf! Varric couldn’t want this. Was he _really_ so awful to be around?

“Interesting,” Danarius said, sounding quite pleased. “I’ll make it worth your while, of course. The power of the Imperium will be at your disposal.”

“Don’t do this, Hawke,” Fenris pleaded, turning upon the man. He couldn’t believe the harsh look in Hawke’s eyes. “I need you,” he added, feeling pathetic at his statement. Clearly, the man didn’t care _what_ Fenris needed, so why was he trying to play that card?

“You’re on your own, Fenris,” Hawke spat harshly, uncaring.

“I…suppose I should not be surprised,” Fenris said, his heart crushing. He’d thought Hawke a fair man, a kind man, but he knew better; even the kindest would turn malicious for the Imperium. It mattered not.

“That’s our Champion,” Varric chuckled. Somehow, that almost hurt worse than Hawke’s dismissal.

“What shall it be, Fenris?” Danarius demanded. “Will you throw your life away?” Fenris was silent, staring at Hawke, hoping to see even the tiniest flicker of sorrow or remorse in the man’s eyes. None came, and finally Fenris dropped his gaze to the floor. He would not let the tears pricking his eyes fall; he would not show that weakness. He couldn’t explain how much it all _hurt_.

Sure, he knew he shouldn’t have left Hawke after their night together, but…he never thought Hawke would loathe him this much. He never thought any of the others would be so bothered by him. As much as he hated to admit it, even to himself, he thought he might have actually found…friends.

But he should have known better.

“No,” Fenris said, trying to keep the heartache out of his voice. He didn’t really succeed. “I will go with you.” He turned toward Danarius, keeping his gaze locked on the floor. Where it belonged, now.

“Lovely,” Danarius smiled. “Here’s a token of my appreciation, Champion. I’m sure I can arrange to have something more…appropriate sent along soon.” Fenris didn't bother looking to see what Danarius gave Hawke.

“See that you do,” Hawke said, and for the first time he sounded irritated with the man. “I kept him for six years, after all.” The knife already stabbed in Fenris’ heart twisted, and Danarius chuckled.

“Sincerest apologies, Champion,” Danarius said. “You will be rewarded; I’ll make sure of it. Come along, everyone,” he added, turning to his guard. “The boat leaves for Minrathous within the hour.” He turned on his heel and started to walk out of the bar. Fenris knew to follow him; it was demanded of him now, and disobeying even now would mean he’d pay for it later. He couldn’t help glancing up once more and catching Hawke’s gaze as he walked past the man; the satisfied look in his eyes nearly made Fenris crumble.

Suddenly, somehow – he couldn’t explain it – it was as though he were watching the scene from above. Watching himself walk out of the tavern, head bowed low like the obedient slave he’d once more become. Watching Hawke smirking at Anders, and Anders giving him a pleased gaze in return. Varric chuckling as though amused.

“No,” he begged as he watched the scene, no longer in his own body. “No…please, Hawke, don’t do this…I’m so sorry, Hawke, just don’t do this… _please_ …” he realized he was crying as he said the words, watching helplessly as he walked out the door.

“Fenris,” a voice interrupted, and he looked around, trying to find it; it was disembodied, just as he himself was. “Fenris, calm down.”

He – wait, that was _Hawke’s_ voice, he realized. The man was talking to him…but he was still standing there, smirking away at Anders as Fenris left the building. It didn’t make any sense!

“Fenris,” the voice said, and he now recognized it as soothing. He felt an odd pressure upon his nonexistent body, felt the discomfort of his markings being touched while he was so tense. He was struggling to make sense of everything. “Love, wake up, it’s all right!” Wake up?

Yes! It was a dream! And – he started to come back into his consciousness. It was Hawke’s voice that was soothing him, Hawke’s hand on his shoulder. He realized he was trembling as he finally forced his eyes open.

“Easy, love,” Hawke murmured, stroking Fenris’ arm. He jerked it away; the tension and pressure was too much.

“Don’t touch them,” Fenris croaked. “Not – right now.”

“All right, all right,” Hawke said, his voice still soothing. “I won’t touch the markings. I’m sorry. Just take it easy,” he added slowly, softly. Fenris came to himself enough to realize he was on his back, Hawke next to him, facing him with concern. The man reached for his hand, carefully avoiding the markings so he wouldn’t hurt the elf, and his other hand ran gently through Fenris’ hair. “Shh. You’re all right.”

As much as he appreciated the comfort, Fenris couldn’t stop shaking. He felt the tears on his cheeks, but he couldn’t stop them. He managed to realize how stupid it had all been; that was nothing like the encounter with Danarius had gone. Hawke had harshly defended him; even the abomination had come to his aid, albeit reluctantly. He’d ripped out Danarius’ heart, and he was here, in bed, with Hawke.

“I’m sorry,” Fenris whispered, trying to control himself.

“Shh,” Hawke soothed, now moving his hand from Fenris’ hair to trail over his face, still avoiding the markings. “Don’t be sorry, love. You’re fine. It’s all okay now, I promise.” His fingers stuck on the wet trails of tears down Fenris’ cheeks, but he didn’t mention them; the elf was grateful.

“Hawke,” he murmured.

“Yes, Fenris, I’m here,” Hawke said, moving back to stroke Fenris’ hair, scratch his scalp lovingly. “I’m right here.” It took some time, but finally Fenris was able to stop trembling and fully realize it had been a dream. “Do you want to talk about it?” Hawke asked. Giving him the choice. The man always gave Fenris the choice. No matter what they were doing.

“I…you gave me back to Danarius,” Fenris said, unable to keep a note of accusation out of his voice. He felt Hawke’s intake of breath, the tightening of fingers around his own. He went on haltingly, “He simply…asked. And you…told him to take me if he wanted me. The…dwarf. The abomination. They…agreed.” He took several long breaths then, but Hawke didn’t speak, unsure whether he was done; Fenris was grateful. “I…I said I needed you. You didn’t care. You said…I was on my own.”

“Oh, Fenris,” Hawke murmured, and Fenris could hear the pain in his voice. “I’m so sorry, love. I’m sorry you dreamed that. I would never have let him take you, you know that, right?”

“I – I know,” Fenris murmured. He swallowed hard, unable to get anything else out.

“You’re all right now,” Hawke reminded him, and Fenris was grateful for the reassurance. “I promise; I’ve got you, and no one’s going to take you away.”

“Thank you,” Fenris whispered in the darkness. He had finally calmed down enough he thought perhaps he could stand to feel the man’s arms around him again; when he moved closer to Hawke, the rogue's arms came up around the elf almost of their own accord, as though they belonged there and they had simply been waiting to return.

“You’re okay?” Hawke checked, still unwilling to fully embrace the elf until he was certain.

“Yes,” Fenris murmured, endlessly grateful for Hawke’s gentleness. They lay there a little while longer, Fenris afraid to go back to sleep and continue the dream, Hawke simply wanting to be with him.

“I hope you kicked my ass, and Danarius’, too,” Hawke finally said, his voice light. Fenris swallowed.

“I…no,” Fenris murmured. “I…went with him.”

“Willingly?” Hawke said in surprise. “I know it was a dream, Fenris, but Maker…”

“Dream or not,” Fenris said heavily, “I would have likely done just that. I…to realize that I had no place here, I had no one after all…what other option was there?”

“Oh, love,” Hawke said, drawing his head closer and kissing the elf’s forehead. “I hope you know that you’re worth your freedom, whatever anyone else says or thinks. Even me,” he added. Fenris felt warmth at the sentiment, but couldn’t bear to keep talking about it.

“Let’s just…not speak of it,” Fenris murmured. “Please?”

“Of course, Fenris,” Hawke assured him, squeezing him ever so gently. “Just try to relax; I’m still here, and I’ve still got you.”

“I know,” Fenris breathed gratefully. “Thank you…so much.” The words calmed him, and eventually he was able to relax; Hawke, knowing him so well by now, hummed a soft lullaby, and Fenris fell asleep to the soothing sound.

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly found this story as I was going through my hard drive one day, and could not remember writing it. I still *barely* remember writing it. But here it is. I hope you liked it :)


End file.
